So, let me get this straight (please be patient with my intended sarcasm):
That which created me is concerned with my genitalia? Concerned and ready to attack me if I don't use it "right"? If I have a child without being married, it's not a fully blessed child? And I might expect a scorching hell fire in my afterlife because I had sex out of wedlock in the first place?
C'mon, son...
We have no choice but to accept people's opinions or long-held beliefs, but why is it that we humans put religion or even non-religious spirituality on such a pedestal, higher than anything else we do in life, when everything we do is sacred—especially the sexual act? Are we afraid of what might happen if we dare explore higher levels of thinking and pondering, and even experiencing life?
The idea that we are dirty sinners is a disgusting one; and I am uncomfortable with even pretending I feel that way. It literally does not feel good. We all know that. I invested in those types of painful and limited beliefs for years; many of us have. I didn't know what it was to truly love myself, or to summon power through my solar plexus to propel me to freedom and purpose in my life, until I truly let these kinds of ideas go forever.
If having children within a structured relationship was required by "God's law for us," why does it not always occur? Why does anything that is outside our current realm of understanding occur? The answer is because it should. When you visit the market for food, you never buy every single item; you buy what you need. You buy what suits you, and you leave the rest on the shelf for those who want it. You don't stop by the customer-service desk, ask to see the manager, and tell him or her that there are items that you don't use, that your mom, dad, or grandparents never used and so they need to be removed from the shelf so that no one else will discover said items. In other words, you get yours and push on. Sometimes you may even try new items that your family never used, and you love them! And now they're staples of yours. Hmmm...
We all can agree that when children are born into families with two parents that are committed, the children will most likely be off to a good start in life. It will be easier in some aspects, but mostly the married-versus-unmarried-with-children issue is highly cultural. Our society dictates what we are supposed to do. Our families do a certain thing in a certain way, and this is how it should be done, so we follow. But does that always work for us?
Nobody really talks about how important it is to play, have fun flirting, and look forward to growing as two people, as individuals. It's usually more about the "worthiness dance" surrounding how the groom asked for his wife's hand in marriage, and showing off the ring. "Bridezillas" behave as if they will never matter again in life after the ceremony. Well, I was born acceptable. And I had the pleasure of seeing beyond all of these points of contention. I was married on a Monday morning, overlooking the Pacific Ocean. My father gave me away (which was lovely and fed a little of my desire to have some tradition involved). My dress was from Sears (Grandma would have been proud). And our children were in charge of the music. It was absolutely wonderful. No hooplah, no "should sh**," and we nailed it. And I am glad that neither of us were virgins, because like a comedian said, "You don't want to save yourself for the right guy; you want to practice for him."
Theses ideas are not for everybody, and that is cool. However, people are starting to understand that they can do whatever they want. That's beautiful. Sex would be a lot more beautiful if we would allow it to be the natural art, beauty, and sacred ritual that it is. Granted, I would not be happy to know that my husband was desiring the hot young thing at work or across town, and wanted my permission and blessing on him "hitting that" for a while. Yeah, I'm not that evolved. But many people are, and to them, sincerely, more power. I think it's hot. Not for my life ... but hot indeed.
I think that is the point. You find out what you need out of this life and do that. And that idea goes double for the process of dating, mating, and partnerships—gay, straight, or in between. I always find it interesting that the people who claim they really want loving companions don't have them. It may be because they are in love with a worn-out and stale idea of love and togetherness. Usually, it stems from some sort of fear-based religious context, which, if thoroughly researched historically, scientifically, and even intuitively, they would find that the ideologies they are following were created to control the masses, instilling and producing people who are afraid to truly lead their own lives. Indeed, dating, or whatever we call it, can get messy, and it has nothing to do with a sadistic overlord monitoring your junk. It is at this point that we examine our consciousness about the situation. Remember that you cannot attract anything unlike yourself, so if your mate cheated, that is more of a reflection of your belief in loss at the hands of another. STDs may be due to the deep, hidden hatred of the self or of the mate, which of course comes back to hatred of the self. It's preposterous to think that the very act (sex) that brings forth bliss, closeness, and new life is wrong, dirty, or can be sanctioned. We create structures like rules, laws, and time itself to help us make sense in a day, organizing the life process. For example, we know that time does not actually exists. I mean, it does—we all use it—but it doesn't. We also know that the greatest unfolding of events occurs when we are not keeping track, score, or time.
Think about it. Maybe it is different than what you thought. Maybe it is more expanded than your current view.
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