Love the First Time

One day, I was on the 10 East freeway, transitioning to the 110 South. As we merged, I heard a horn but I was doing everything right: falling into formation, going an appropriate speed, etc.; so I felt that the person could not be blowing at me. A few seconds go by, and I notice a tattered bucket of a car to my left, and I could not believe that the driver was not honoring the "you go, I go" system. More than that, I was in front of her already, and apparently she was going to change that. She edged up, edged up some more, and I quickly got her message. So I looked to really see the face of the person who was asserting his/her will in such a way, and I found a female driver with absolute conviction on her face, gaining her position and not looking at me at all in the process. I realized that, um...she was going to "strongarm" her way into the formation. I also knew I could try to resist, but why?

Once she was in front of me, and I was in the midst of asking the "appropriate" questions, "Really?! Seriously?!" ... I realized that one tire on her car was going flat; the car sat way too low on one side; and the driver's side mirror was hanging on for dear life. There may have even been some smoke coming from the car. I immediately felt like an ass. I started thinking that I could have been more patient. I started thinking that merging on to the freeway was not a big deal; and since we were all going to get to our destinations eventually, what was I upset about?

Although all of those sort of nice things after the fact are valid, how come I didn't apply that level of reasoning, that love, to the situation in the first place? Did I really need to see all of the needed repairs...the flaws...before I could deem her worthy of a pass? I notice that many times people are rude, sometimes even mean and vicious to others in the heat of a moment; but then when one shows vulnerability, we then gain some level of understanding. The tears start "a-flowin'," and then we are ready to open our hearts and minds. How come? Why do we need to see a level of weakness to allow ourselves to study war no more?

When we are in full balance, living as the light bearers we are, we have no other way of be-ing than to love the first time. I used the word reasoning a few lines ago, but even reasoning is on a lower level than be-ing. We can train ourselves to only focus on what is good, and what our goal is in any given moment; and they all might change in any given moment. The idea is that as long as your goals are clear, you will find yourself at your destination. Everything that occurs in a moment is perfect, based on the previous moments that built it. There is only reason to love. That is the only reason to do anything. Let's do that first. Everything seems to fall in place after that.